Finding, keeping love in a pandemic proves difficult

 

MILWAUKEE (CBS 58) --- Valentine’s Day is said to have its origin in ancient Rome, but because of the pandemic, this holiday may be unique in history. People trying to find romance, or keep it, this year have had to navigate new obstacles. 

Mike Anderson lives in Delafield and is single and looking. He says he has found online dating during COVID-19 a challenge. “ I've been successful with online dating. I have met a lot of wonderful women, okay, but not in 2020 I can tell you that,” he said. 

Anderson says the Zoom or FaceTime calls that have become the norm during the pandemic, leave him wanting more. “Well, it's kind of really hard to get to know someone,” he said. 

But according to Camille Kostin, matchmaker for It’s Just Lunch in Milwaukee, these virtual first dates are not going away, even if the pandemic does. Kostin says there are too many advantages to the new normal “You don't have to get in your car driving the snow, figure out where you're going to go-- who's even taking reservations right now-- where you're going to park.”

Kostin says that while making an in-person connection might be harder in a pandemic, love has not been canceled by it. “You have to take charge and really invest in yourself and your love life Even during this current climate,” she said. 

If you can’t imagine being single during the pandemic, couple's therapist Rebekah Wollf says some people are finding out that love under lockdown is no picnic either. “There's studies that claim that couples will become closer during a crisis, and then you have other couples where it pushes them away,” Wolff said. 

Money troubles, job anxiety, health issues and simple cabin fever are just some of many stressors that couples are forced to navigate “They're not going to work on the relationship, they're trying to survive, so that can have detrimental effects,” Wolff said

Wolff says the best thing a couple can do is remember that they are a team, and seek help if any warning signs pop up. “People start to fight or flight, where they start to avoid each other, they have more conflict, they start to break away from each other-- the miscommunication is usually a good warning sign,” she said. 

While finding love in a pandemic can be difficult, Anderson says he is not going to stop looking   “It's extremely time consuming but you have to be willing to put the time in to meet the right person,” he said.