Child specialist: 'Let children lead' when talking about violence and other challenging stories

MILWAUKEE (CBS 58) -- After 5-year-old Prince McCree was murdered, his family told us he attended school. That means teachers, school psychologists, and families again must help young children process violent crime.

Leslie Scott, a certified child life specialist with Children's Wisconsin, told us children are perceptive and if children are aware of Prince McCree's death or any other difficult story, families should not avoid talking to them about it.

But Scott said it's also important to let the children lead and to not share more troubling details than are necessary.

She told us, "A lot of times they automatically think about, 'Is that going to happen to me? How could that happen to me?'"

There's an empty seat in a Milwaukee classroom after McCree's murder. And his friends, classmates, and other children will likely have questions that may be difficult to discuss.

But talking about what happened and answering those tough questions is critical to helping children cope in a healthy way, according to Scott. "That's when trouble starts. [If] kids are ashamed of what they're feeling or don't want to tell you that they're worried when there are things we can help address."

Scott says she lets children lead her in those discussions, asking their questions first instead of her sharing information they may not be thinking about. "Kids think about things in a very different way, so making sure we're specifically answering just those questions and we're not going beyond that."

Scott says schools typically do a great job in these situations because, unfortunately, children have often been victims of violence. "Making sure that we give them some concrete, simple information. And then make sure those parents know where those resources are."

But she adds it's ok for adults at home to share when they don't know an answer because those early conversations can help build lifelong trust. Scott said, "These moments are moments where we're setting our kids up to be able to know they can come to us with anything. And that we're not avoiding those topics."

She said it's important to limit kids' exposure to difficult news stories, especially if there are several days' worth of developments from one story.

Scott explained, "As adults, we understand that that's the same story. For kids, it can sometimes appear that those things are happening all over and more than they actually are."

Older children and teens may seek out information about a difficult story on their own, and Scott said that's natural.

But she recommends doing it with your child so you can see their reaction at the time, and so that you can have conversations in the moment.